Sober Mood Swings

I have not really had many sober mood swings but this morning… serious WTF!

What was that trigger? Let me begin from last night. We are nearing the end of our holiday. Hubby has declared that we should have early meals now instead of nights out. I’m ok with this, I feel I have had to overcompensate my happiness to keep the judgement at bay and it’s now taking its toll.

But first he suggested let’s go for drinks with your sister and partner. Unbeknown to me, the football was on. They became engrossed as most men do watching whilst my sister slithered into intoxication and I was left sat twiddling my thumbs. At 10pm I was wondering when our previously discussed meal and early night would kick in.

I felt tired last night, 2 weeks of interrupted sleep from the tv being left on and snoring was zapping my energy, I could tell I was getting grumpy but I was controlling my feelings and forcing a fake happiness. At 10:15pm I made it clear it was time to go for food.

It was far from a romantic meal. My bubbly persona had vanished by now, and dispute the food being fabulous there was little else going on. We sat at the restaurant barely speaking, he even commented sarcastically “aren’t we a bundle of fun.”

I have taken this personally, perhaps I am wrong to do this, I don’t really know. Was it yet another attack on my sobriety? I failed to see how adding alcohol to my tired grumpy self would improve things. Knowing for sure that the mood I was currently in would have no doubt made for a row if I had been drinking.

It was the quickest meal we have ever had, I can’t deny I was relieved , I’de had enough. The walk back to our hotel felt such an effort. I was tired grumpy, holding up a pissed husband, having got to our room he popped on the Tv. The news again. I fail to see how watching the news 24/7 is a good thing. How much could have changed in the previous 2 hours of him last putting it on? As I had done all week, I sat waiting patiently for him to fall into a drunken slumber so I could get some sleep myself. This didn’t happen, at midnight I asked him to turn it off and get some sleep. He wouldn’t. Apparently me putting up with this for 2 weeks wasn’t enough and I was being unreasonable!

Once more I was forced to put on my sleep mask with headphones to drown it all out, it’s not the most comfortable thing to wear but that coupled with a sleep hypnosis video does get me to sleep. So what’s the problem? The issue I have them is the video doesn’t play all night and I am then woken by the tv blaring and snoring in the early hours of of the morning!

As you can imagine I was in an even worse mood this morning. You are not going to believe what happened next. He woke, acted as though all was tickety boo, realised I wasn’t feeling his presence then he put the F**king tv back on and and fell asleep again snoring!! I mean seriously, is it me? Am I the one being over dramatic here?

instead of suffocating him as I felt like doing, I calmly left the room and came down to sunbathe.

he’s now here, expecting me to be all nice and wifey, but I can’t, my mood is in full swing at the minute and I just need to be left alone.

hopefully getting this out on here will ease my anger. I’m sure it will, these things just take time.

Thank you for listening to my rants. Feel free to air any comments or feelings you may have on this subject I would love to hear from you to help me understand that is is not me going mad!